Season of Chapters

Recently,  I was lying on a stretcher in the ER. I have never been in that much pain. It came on fast and it came on hard and it came on all-encompassing. I’ll give you the ending right at the beginning because this story is not about the pain. The source was an ovarian cyst on my right and a dead ovary on my left. I’m all okay now, except for my dignity, which was absolutely left on that ER stretcher. And, you know, my ovaries that were left somewhere else.

My recovery meant that I couldn’t sit. I could only lie down or stand for a bit. I grieved the fact that I’d never journal in the same way again.

In my grieving, I remembered when such a shift had happened before. When my son was born five years ago. Back then, I had to let go of the unlimited free time to make art. 

Before that, another paradigm shift happened when I began earning money from my art. I had to relearn how to make mistakes (in public), fail (in public), and learn how to create when the criticism was no longer inside of me. 

Even before that, I had to relearn to create during depression, moving countries, moving house, loss of friendships, loss of space. 

This story is about the shifts. About constant relearning. About figuring out how to fit art into life, again and again. 

The truest truth I’ve ever learned is that seasons pass. This is great news if you’re in the midst of a sleep regression with a newborn. This is not so great when the season you’re in is actually kind of wonderful. 

Art is all about flowing alongside these seasons. It’s a big reason why Get Messy runs in seasons (a theme for each month). It’s a fresh start, a new page, a closing, and an opening of a chapter. 

This month the season is Chapters. 

What chapter are you in?